Discovering Your Faith

In the late fall of 2004, I found myself standing in the yard of an old homestead on the prairies just east of Calgary, Alberta. Through a windbreak of shrubs and then a line of pines, I could see the city. The weather was mild and some patches of snow hid in the shade, but November has never been kind to me.

The dark themes of Bruckner’s final, 9th Symphony — a recording of which I’d had checked out of the library for weeks, coursed through my mind as I reflected on a year and a half of a failed mission. Distant mountains I couldn’t see but knew were there, taunted me, reminding me just how far I was from home.

Not long before, I had been standing in the drab kitchen of my basement apartment, where I had lived for months through multiple companions. Standing alone, I had a rare flashbulb memory in the realization that none of my efforts had made a difference for anyone.

I now know that in those moments when we seem to only be able to count our many trials, the devil is afoot. Those are definitely the times when we don’t see things as they truly are. But at the time I didn’t know to dismiss these thoughts.

The winter to follow proved that sometimes we are made to wait, and that stubborn challenges forge enduring souls. 

But things got better. Sometimes I got little nudges from inspired friends and leaders, and sometimes I would get a divine reminder that God still remembered me.

When I had nobody, I found my Heavenly Father.

Of course, such a story brushes on being too personal to be shared in a worldly newspaper, so I’ll just leave it there. To those who are skeptical of Christianity, it’s ok to not be sure. But it is also important for you to acknowledge, maybe with a degree of reverence, that many people have found God in this way, and it is hard to deny it, saying that is all fake.

Here on these pages of The Byway, we have a few stories of young people who are discussing their faith. That has almost been made a taboo in our material world, but it is valuable to the discourse to allow people to discuss their beliefs unfettered by the false partition society has placed between the spiritual and the secular.

I can see better now that I am older, but life wasn’t always so clear. My teenage years were filled with doubt, even on spiritual matters.

My message to the youth, and to those who aren’t sure about your faith, is to find your faith. Faith in its simplest form is to acknowledge there is a lot about the universe we don’t know, and that in all of that space, there could be a god. Then, the task is to find God. Is it worth the search? Yes it is! And many, many have found Him.

For the youth who belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, you might not be sure if you want to serve a mission. I told you how hard it is. But I hope you also noticed that I told you what I found there!

On my mission, I didn’t have much “success” as the world calls it. But I found God, and in turn, found myself. I found my faith. Twenty years later, of all the great things I have found, nothing mattered more than this. Yes, it was worth it.

As Elise points out, we all start out as plain blocks of wood. Sure, we are shaped here and there by our life experiences. But God, the master Carpenter, can make you into something even greater, if you can trust His hand.

– by AJ Martel