Church parties, family gatherings, work get-togethers … laughing, celebrating, caroling, feasting. It’s all a festive time of year — until it isn’t. Not everyone attends a congregation, has family close by, or gets invited to work parties. Some people are alone and lonely.
According to research conducted by a BYU professor, loneliness impacts us physically the same as smoking a pack of cigarettes daily. Belonging to a group is not only fun socially, but essential to mental and physical health.
There is a myth that suicide rates, which are associated with loneliness, are highest during the holidays, but that isn’t supported by research. When it comes to suicide rates, “We have consistently found that the winter months of November, December and January are the lowest, or close to lowest, every year, and there is no evidence of a surge in suicides during the end-of-year holidays,” said Dan Romer, research director for the Annenberg Public Policy Center of the University of Pennsylvania. Perhaps that is due to the fact that we reach out more during this season of service and giving, offering a greeting or plate of cookies.
Let’s remember those who may not belong to groups, who may be alone and lonely. Let’s also remember that the loneliest feeling is when you are in a crowd and feel like you don’t belong. Be observant for opportunities to connect.
What if you are the outlier, the one who isn’t in a group? What options do you have? The holidays create a perfect opportunity for you to reach out. This is when you can join by sharing your gifts of a smile or a plate of cookies. Service is an antidote for depression, an ointment that can soothe the aches and pains of isolation.
People worldwide use emblems to indicate that we belong to a group or an individual. Class rings, necklaces, and medallions indicate who our tribe or significant other is. We give a ring or necklace, which can communicate affection — but more importantly, it indicates a sense of connectedness. It is highly likely that is why team swag is so explosively popular — fans want to belong.
When you are gifting for the holidays, consider giving an emblem of belonging, something that physically reminds the recipient that you claim them in your clan. Family crests, pedigree charts, family trees, Scottish plaids, etc. all prove connectedness and a larger-than-self view of where we belong.
So, whether you are passing out cheer in the form of greetings or goodies, look for those who stand out as standing alone. Envelope them with kindness and welcome. Then extend that cheer throughout the year, especially in August, when suicide rates are the highest.
– The Byway
Feature image courtesy of Duong Nhan.