One of the Best Father’s Day Gifts

It’s Father’s Day. And beneath all the tie gifts and barbeque dinners, you might have heard a clashing conversation about whether fathers are necessary in today’s world. Critiques of fathers are prevalent in the media, and it seems like the general message to fathers is to either become more like women or get out.

But we don’t want fathers to do either of these things! In fact, multiple studies show the benefits of fathers being different from mothers. Fathers (just the way they are) play a unique and important role in caring for a family. Fathers protect. They teach children emotional resilience: to try new things and go on adventures and work hard. That role is different from the mother’s role, but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing.

So, with conflicting messages about fatherhood, how do we show our fathers how badly we really need them? We give Father’s Day gifts. But these considerations can put a lot of pressure on choosing the right gift.

I think one of the best Father’s Day gifts we can give to our dads is to tell them how much they really mean to us. That said, my dad will probably read this article and say, “nice try, but no.” But I’m going to try to write it anyway.

My dad was always my best shoulder to cry on, my best music suggester, adventure buddy, and cheerleader. My dad encouraged me to do things that I wanted to do but needed an extra little push. Dad’s are good at that.

No parent is perfect — but neither is any child for that matter. I still remember when my dad was new at teaching high school and the seventh graders were so proud that they got him to swear. I had made him mad enough times to know that was not something to be proud of!

But most of the time, my dad was happy to help with anything. When I graduated and moved away from home, all of a sudden I was calling my mom for all our recipes and my dad for help on all my homework. I didn’t realize how much my dad did for me until I moved out. And even after I moved out, I still needed him.

As my life changed, my dad and I had to figure out how to navigate it together. I am the oldest child, so my getting involved in sports, becoming a teenager, moving out, and getting married were all new to him, too.

It was fun to learn more about what my dad did when he was in these different stages of life. He talked about being afraid to make his first adulting phone call to fix a car. He taught me that paying rent wouldn’t kill me … or my bank account. He told stories of how he met my mom and how he knew she was the one.

I learned some cool things from other father figures in my life, too:

• From my father-in-law, I learned how to treat everyone like I would want to be treated. 

• From my choir teacher, I learned to get up in front of people and try new things. 

• From my boss at my first college job, I learned to be myself even if it was kind of quirky.

• From my stake president, I learned to love people, even if I didn’t know them very well.

The experiences that I’ve had with father figures have kept me safe. In addition to that, they have helped me go out into the world prepared to be my own person. Because of dads, I have gone on adventures and tried new things and worked hard.

My experience may not match yours exactly, but I’m willing to bet that there are some similarities. Dads have a way of teaching the important things in life, even without saying anything. And boy do we need them! I don’t think I could have learned the same lessons or had the same experiences with my mom.

So, I think one of the best Father’s Day gifts we can give our Dads is to tell them what all those little experiences mean to us. Hopefully, the stories they hear make them smile and let them know that they did something right.

(Did I do okay, Dad?)

– by Abbie Call

Feature image caption: Happy Father’s Day from The Byway!

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